Altsounds Advent Calendar | December 23rd | TV Stars and Christmas Song Scars

With Christmas Eve right around the corner, the TV Guide seems to be getting more and more packed with old sitcoms, Christmas specials and holiday films. It’s the same every year and whilst many of us will sit down and watch that Only Fools and Horses episode for the fourth Christmas in a row, it would be nice to see a bit of variety. However, some of these TV stars don’t just stop at gracing our screens during Christmas, for some reason when it turns to this festive season, TV personalities decide that they are going to grace our ears as well and try their hand at becoming singing sensations. Below are 3 picks from this TV star Christmas song hamper, each unique in their own ‘special’ ways:

The Not So Good: Proper Crimbo – Bo Selecta

Released in the Christmas season of 2003, right in the middle of what turned out to be a few good years of popularity for the cult comedy, Leigh Francis grabbed a host of celebrities (the video featured a range of celebrities from Bob Geldof to Kerry Katona) and made a Christmas song. More proper cringy than proper crimbo, this track was and still is quite shocking, but Francis’s involvement of his great portrayals of Michael Jackson, Mel B and especially Craig David, did give us something to laugh at. Funny yet terrible, “Proper Crimbo” got to number three in the charts and whilst it probably isn’t a regular edition on many people’s iPod’s, at least Mr Francis gave us a brief chuckle before we got really bored of it.

The Pretty Bad: The Wombles – Wombling Merry Christmas

First released in the 70s, “Wombling Merry Christmas” is defiantly a generation defining Christmas song and for many this track brings with it some great childhood memories. However, there is no denying that this song is pretty awful yet at the same time it is irritatingly catchy. The high pitched ‘Christmaaaaaaaaas” at the beginning is a early sign of the ear pain to come, yet turning it off seems like such a hard feat to manage. Peaking at number 2 in 1974, the track spent 8 weeks in the UK chart and was the furry creatures highest charting single. Re-released this year, “Wombling Merry Christmas” is just as cheesy now as it was all those years ago, but its still better than any of the X Factor Christmas singles we have seen over the years, especially that Steve Brook…erm….side fellow.

The Downright Ugly: Ricky Tomlinson – Christmas My Arse

Oh Ricky. In the winter of 2006, Britain’s favourite lazy-arse picking-dad decided to whip out this truly shocking ode to the festive season and unlike the previous songs, there isn’t one shred of good tinsel to hang on to about this song: it is just dreadful. From Ricky’s first words to his last, all you want to do his slap him and tell him to stop this assault. Unsurprisingly the song didn’t do too well in the charts, only reaching number 25 and whilst ole’ groucho most defiantly made this as a major piss-take (if not he has some issues), we urge you Mr Tomlinson to stay on your chair and shout my arse from there. Ricky you’re a legend, let’s keep it that way.

So there you have it, three wonderful festive songs to get you into the Christmas spirit…or maybe not. Although at least they can say they tried, even if we wished some of them hadn’t.

Before the end of today’s feature however, we have one more video to show you. Its short, its sweet and its one of the great unreleased Christmas songs from a TV programme, that puts the ones featured today to shame.  Merry Christmas everyone and a Happy New Year!

Friends: Phoebe Christmas Song

Original article first appeared on Altsounds website on 23/12/11